Expectations are rarely written down, but they're still learned
Maybe you were shown a version of a life that looked stable, thoughtful, and full from the outside, and so you built toward it.
You were successful but not threatening, independent but endlessly available, ambitious but not greedy, and either a mother or expected to explain why you weren’t, all while remembering birthdays, booking dentist appointments, and managing everyone else’s desires.
WHICH IS WHY A QUIET PART INSIDE OF YOU IS NOW ASKING:
Is this life what I actually want, or is it what I learned to want?​​
Maybe something in your life has changed
IT COULD BE BIG, ORDINARY, EXPECTED, OR COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR CONTROL, LIKE:
Finishing school and realizing you don’t have any idea about what comes next
Wanting kids, not wanting kids, and being tired of explaining either one
Ending a relationship and not knowing who you are on the other side
Losing someone you love and feeling like everything has a before and after
Finally reaching a major milestone, only to wonder, “Is this it?”
Wanting more for your life doesn’t mean reaching for the next thing you were told to want
INSTEAD, IT MIGHT MEAN SIMPLY CREATING SPACE TO:
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Express the emotions and ideas that you’ve kept in your journal •
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Hear “me too” from other women who immediately understand you
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Sit with ambivalence instead of rushing to find an answer
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Know what you truly want before other opinions drown you out
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Stop abandoning yourself in small, socially acceptable ways
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Forge friendships outside your roles as caregiver or partner
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Re-imagine and build a life that feels more honestly your own
LUMI is a community where we bring light to the stories we’ve been taught and begin uncovering what still feels supportive, chosen, and true
There’s peer connection, and then there’s therapist-facilitated peer connection
HI, I'M KATIE
Peer-to-peer spaces can be powerful, especially when they create room for women to ask questions they haven’t been able to say out loud before.
At LUMI, I blend my experience as a therapist with my own lived experience to facilitate conversations that are honest, respectful, and meaningful without forcing immediate answers.
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FAQS about LUMI
No. LUMI is therapist-facilitated, but it is not group therapy. The circles are a place for reflection, guided conversation, and peer connection, but they do not include diagnosis, treatment plans, or clinical therapy.
If you’re interested in therapy services, I offer 1:1 therapy for individuals here.
Yes. LUMI is about building real connections through conversations that go beyond the usual work updates, roles, and polite catching up. There is guidance in the room, so the conversation has a little more depth and direction than a casual social group.
While therapy gives you one-on-one support for your mental health, relationships, trauma, or personal patterns, LUMI provides a facilitated community where you can reflect with other women asking similar questions about their lives.
LUMI is not a replacement for therapy, but it can sit alongside therapy or exist on its own.
Yes. LUMI welcomes queer, trans, non-binary, and gender-diverse people who connect with the community's themes.
While some language on the site speaks to women’s experiences, LUMI is intended to be a respectful, inclusive space for people who have been impacted by gendered expectations around relationships, work, family, identity, and success.